Nothing Special

Hello all!
This part of the Whateverlution...is all about me. Call it an ongoing ever changing 'about the author' Dane Cook once said...A suicide note written by someone who is not suicidal is called an autobiography.

So what gives me the ability to speak out about the world? Why should anyone listen when I tell them about fitness, gaming, intellectual pursuits, the sociological ramifications of current world politics, and gummy worms?

Well that's something you're going to have to learn as you go. However if you want credentials, allow me to fill in a bit of my resume.

At 34 I have collected paychecks from over 30 different employers. I have built million dollar homes, I have driven a front end loader through mountains of trash, I've been to basic training and enjoyed some peace time national guard time, I've worked for restaurants, retail chains, and convenient stores and been a substitute teacher. However I have also spent over five years as a guard at a county jail AND 30 days as an inmate at a different county jail. (For CIVIL CONTEMPT-I couldn't afford to pay ALIMONY, and was subsequently put in jail, which caused me to lose my job with the Sheriff's Department)

My education involves an Associates degree, and 90 credits towards a BS in Mental Health and Human services, as well as a healthy interest in reference literature. School and I have never gotten along, I find it too rigid and constraining, I can learn more on my own.

The only things I know for sure...I've been pretty good at just about every job I've ever had. The closest to a job I actually liked was as a guard. I'm a people watcher and psychological dynamics fascinate me, plus I'm an adrenaline junkie and at the time thrived amidst the crazy fights, hangings, cut-ups etc etc. That being said I now have to pursue a different career, and this blog circle is part of it. It's a social and personal experiment. I know that everywhere I've gone, people tend to remember me. However despite being a quick learner, and intelligent and well-spoken, something seems to be holding me back. So I am now hoping to work from that into something here, maybe a job, maybe a career, maybe pocket money, time will tell.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

a mote of rantiness...raw no edit



Christ it’s bursting at the seams.  The thoughts the screams…
I need to wrap my head around the thoughts I’m chasing with prose to coax it out.  There’s something there, it’s been flitting about.  Can’t quite grab it…

The first thought…
How self important does it make you, if you think you’re so fucked up you were probably prophesized at some point?  I feel like I am destined for one of a few distinct but vastly different great paths.  I’m working towards my vision, and the life that I want, and I feel there is a message in the action somehow.  Perhaps I am manifesting some sort of mania.  While not exactly a delusion of grandeur the idea that something really important is going to come from my wallowing in filth trying to scrape out an adequate existence with sordid dreams of a strange little stronghold where I can live out my days in simple dalliance and pursuit of eclectic large scale minimalism.  Perhaps it’s just the plot hook for a storyline I’m missing…perhaps I’ve made it up to elicit thought in anyone who reads this..I did say I thought I had a message did I not?

The second thought…
More elusive and I can’t tell if it’s important to me finding the thought I’m looking for, or important for me to figure out about myself before I am adequately able to deal with the thought once I’ve found it…The second thought isn’t closed ended enough to adequately piece about with words on paper…I’m off to ponder question two…
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