Nothing Special

Hello all!
This part of the Whateverlution...is all about me. Call it an ongoing ever changing 'about the author' Dane Cook once said...A suicide note written by someone who is not suicidal is called an autobiography.

So what gives me the ability to speak out about the world? Why should anyone listen when I tell them about fitness, gaming, intellectual pursuits, the sociological ramifications of current world politics, and gummy worms?

Well that's something you're going to have to learn as you go. However if you want credentials, allow me to fill in a bit of my resume.

At 34 I have collected paychecks from over 30 different employers. I have built million dollar homes, I have driven a front end loader through mountains of trash, I've been to basic training and enjoyed some peace time national guard time, I've worked for restaurants, retail chains, and convenient stores and been a substitute teacher. However I have also spent over five years as a guard at a county jail AND 30 days as an inmate at a different county jail. (For CIVIL CONTEMPT-I couldn't afford to pay ALIMONY, and was subsequently put in jail, which caused me to lose my job with the Sheriff's Department)

My education involves an Associates degree, and 90 credits towards a BS in Mental Health and Human services, as well as a healthy interest in reference literature. School and I have never gotten along, I find it too rigid and constraining, I can learn more on my own.

The only things I know for sure...I've been pretty good at just about every job I've ever had. The closest to a job I actually liked was as a guard. I'm a people watcher and psychological dynamics fascinate me, plus I'm an adrenaline junkie and at the time thrived amidst the crazy fights, hangings, cut-ups etc etc. That being said I now have to pursue a different career, and this blog circle is part of it. It's a social and personal experiment. I know that everywhere I've gone, people tend to remember me. However despite being a quick learner, and intelligent and well-spoken, something seems to be holding me back. So I am now hoping to work from that into something here, maybe a job, maybe a career, maybe pocket money, time will tell.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

A golden fish hook...is still barbed. (RAW unedited)



Adrift
A series of sorts, a voice…
I somehow see everything here as having a negative spin and interpretation.  I don’t really know that, it is entirely the case.
There is a gritty determined optimism buried somewhere within this scarred form.
Make no mistake my belief is in my own invincibility.
I do see myself as a force of nature…
I do see myself as something epic…
I have no doubt that I was destined for something astounding.
The problem is I am quite simply overwhelmed by…myself.
There is SO much that I want, need, strive for…
I could not possibly fit it in a dozen lifetimes.
So I live on scraps of grandeur and big dreams…
I live in the fantasy of the fantastic…
Because I could never settle on just one…
Therefore I can never have ANY of them.
You must see it.  Forever the pursuit, never the settle on any one…
Always the next one…what I could do with the resources to do what I’m capable of.  The ideas, the puzzle pieces, the world I could build.  Amazing…it would be Amazing.
The reality…far from this good I assure you, but the player has settled on a game.
The game is finding out how to make the amazing feasible.  If there is a path I simply must find it.
Time to sleep my friends…I’m sorry if you are reading this and are confused.
Eventually seeing things THIS early will be a source of pride for you.  You were onto something…even then, even now.
Trust me.
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