Nothing Special

Hello all!
This part of the Whateverlution...is all about me. Call it an ongoing ever changing 'about the author' Dane Cook once said...A suicide note written by someone who is not suicidal is called an autobiography.

So what gives me the ability to speak out about the world? Why should anyone listen when I tell them about fitness, gaming, intellectual pursuits, the sociological ramifications of current world politics, and gummy worms?

Well that's something you're going to have to learn as you go. However if you want credentials, allow me to fill in a bit of my resume.

At 34 I have collected paychecks from over 30 different employers. I have built million dollar homes, I have driven a front end loader through mountains of trash, I've been to basic training and enjoyed some peace time national guard time, I've worked for restaurants, retail chains, and convenient stores and been a substitute teacher. However I have also spent over five years as a guard at a county jail AND 30 days as an inmate at a different county jail. (For CIVIL CONTEMPT-I couldn't afford to pay ALIMONY, and was subsequently put in jail, which caused me to lose my job with the Sheriff's Department)

My education involves an Associates degree, and 90 credits towards a BS in Mental Health and Human services, as well as a healthy interest in reference literature. School and I have never gotten along, I find it too rigid and constraining, I can learn more on my own.

The only things I know for sure...I've been pretty good at just about every job I've ever had. The closest to a job I actually liked was as a guard. I'm a people watcher and psychological dynamics fascinate me, plus I'm an adrenaline junkie and at the time thrived amidst the crazy fights, hangings, cut-ups etc etc. That being said I now have to pursue a different career, and this blog circle is part of it. It's a social and personal experiment. I know that everywhere I've gone, people tend to remember me. However despite being a quick learner, and intelligent and well-spoken, something seems to be holding me back. So I am now hoping to work from that into something here, maybe a job, maybe a career, maybe pocket money, time will tell.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

On Updates raw no editing one take shake

Have I not mentioned a penchant for italics.

In the past eight months I lost my home and everything I owned.  Then I lost my job, but found a temporary shelter to live in.  I got a job, and then another.  I also scrounge extra income through time honored hustles.  I had to move out of the temporary shelter but through a whole lot of hard work was able to do it.

I had to take today off from one of my jobs.  You see with two part time jobs I work about seventy hours a week, and have only had one day off in the ten weeks or so.  Then today hit.  I go until I cannot go any further, and today is that day, so I find myself here.  The principle is simple, I have lacked the hours to write or dwell, but found them when I gained back eight hours of refunded time.  So as not to waste them I allowed my body to force four hours of sleep on me, and now donate the remaining four to self betterment.  I am still a little achy.

I am fairly certain I am crazy, not badly so, but that my wiring has over these thirty seven years definitely gone bad in a way that is irreparable.  It isn't a death sentence, it will require changes to my success plan, but I feel that even with the handi-cap of approaching mental illness, that I have the mental resources, drive, grit, life experience, and balls to make considerable gains and possibly secure a life of comfort and peace.  I am making gains in my socioeconomic existential standing.  However they are taking a great deal of emotional and mental resources to maintain so I have to go until I can't then stop and recuperate.  The picket fence is not feasible, I could not maintain the social obligations, face status, and encroachment of cohabiting or communal life building right now.  I don't have it in me.  I can barely keep track of my own life much less impact and buffer someone else's with my warmness and congeniality.

In 2006 the house I shared with my now ex wife, the house that I bought at 22, my first home and solid attempt at middle classiness....flooded in the spring run-off when a dam let go.  The insurance covered enough that I was able to replace my entire heating system, but it was scary we had to get the kids out of the house, go to my mother's for two days, then another four while we got everything up and running and cleaned and dried out.  What are the odds of a flood and a fire inside of a decade?

No comments:

Post a Comment