It is here in the dead of night, that the manic thoughts and twisted delusions merge into a synchronous homage to oneself. If you get yourself to an exhausted state and the refuse to sleep, insisting that you haven't been productive and are now ready to conquer the world you reach a truly delusional grandeur. Now with my mind in a fragile and weary state...now tired and should be sound asleep, I find myself knowing that I don't have to get up for anything tomorrow. So why not try to move forward something of vested personal interest. Your funds are down to 6.00 until Friday. Payday this week is not going to be stellar thanks to hours getting cut. You need to buy food again, and it's gotta be under 30.00 to get through in all likelihood 2 weeks. There's no doubt that before the next payday unless you hold some bills back and are very frugal with gas, you will need an influx of funds. Will it be legit and soul enriching...perhaps a day of labor for extra pocket money? Will it be a shamefully asked nod back to one's parents...hey, I know I'm 35...but I'm just about out of food...a 20 would go a long way. Gotta try to maximize every shift at the retail chain I work at part time. Why don't I get a better job? Jesus I've got 90 credits towards a BA, and my Associates. Is it because your car is kind of a POS, you don't have much gas money for interviews, the whole uncomfortable new item of scorn, a Civil Contempt conviction. Perhaps it's because your license is actually under suspension, for not paying the fine associated with driving a vehicle without an inspection sticker. Driving poor means driving shit boxes, often shit boxes can no longer pass a state inspection, but they run enough to make life a little easier. The fine for not being able to afford an inspectable car is 135.00...If you ask for 6 months to pay and you only get 3...because let's face it if you had an extra 135 bucks you could have bought an inspection sticker from an unscrupulous service station. So they revoke your license, and you have to beg for the right to have your license while trying to pay the fine so you can get to work. Fine they say you can get it but you still have to pay the 50.00 reinstatement fee....so now the fine is still hanging and you've got to pay a reinstatement that will make it harder to pay the 135.00. For those of you that don't think 135.00 is a big fine. Imagine that your paycheck won't quite cover gas, rent, and food...so you have to skimp on food or a bill every pay check. Trying to get as many hours as possible while working part time is scary and daunting. At least you're not seasonal and you know you will always have a FEW hours...while working hard to show your eagerness for an upcoming full time position. Trying hard to get 30 hours in, when you're used to working 50+. Making 8.00 an hour less than you used to. Paying child support of over 100.00 a week while working part time. Having the state Automatically take it from your pay check so you can't feel weak and lapse...then have the state charge you a 2.00 service fee every paycheck for the privilege of having your wage garnished. Trying to ration enough gas that you can see the kids once or twice a week. Despite being well educated, you missed the last bus and you're not quite eligible for a lot of them. Also you're competing against a work force where there are a glut of overqualified fellow jobless people willing to step DOWN into most of the jobs you are qualified for. After all in this market you've stepped down to part time entry level...haven't you?
This is a rant, and as such it is unedited and in this case extremely run on. Enjoy it. Or not, I really don't care, I just want to speak and vent...We are never here to judge...only jury and execute.
Nothing Special
Hello all!
This part of the Whateverlution...is all about me. Call it an ongoing ever changing 'about the author' Dane Cook once said...A suicide note written by someone who is not suicidal is called an autobiography.
So what gives me the ability to speak out about the world? Why should anyone listen when I tell them about fitness, gaming, intellectual pursuits, the sociological ramifications of current world politics, and gummy worms?
Well that's something you're going to have to learn as you go. However if you want credentials, allow me to fill in a bit of my resume.
At 34 I have collected paychecks from over 30 different employers. I have built million dollar homes, I have driven a front end loader through mountains of trash, I've been to basic training and enjoyed some peace time national guard time, I've worked for restaurants, retail chains, and convenient stores and been a substitute teacher. However I have also spent over five years as a guard at a county jail AND 30 days as an inmate at a different county jail. (For CIVIL CONTEMPT-I couldn't afford to pay ALIMONY, and was subsequently put in jail, which caused me to lose my job with the Sheriff's Department)
My education involves an Associates degree, and 90 credits towards a BS in Mental Health and Human services, as well as a healthy interest in reference literature. School and I have never gotten along, I find it too rigid and constraining, I can learn more on my own.
The only things I know for sure...I've been pretty good at just about every job I've ever had. The closest to a job I actually liked was as a guard. I'm a people watcher and psychological dynamics fascinate me, plus I'm an adrenaline junkie and at the time thrived amidst the crazy fights, hangings, cut-ups etc etc. That being said I now have to pursue a different career, and this blog circle is part of it. It's a social and personal experiment. I know that everywhere I've gone, people tend to remember me. However despite being a quick learner, and intelligent and well-spoken, something seems to be holding me back. So I am now hoping to work from that into something here, maybe a job, maybe a career, maybe pocket money, time will tell.
This part of the Whateverlution...is all about me. Call it an ongoing ever changing 'about the author' Dane Cook once said...A suicide note written by someone who is not suicidal is called an autobiography.
So what gives me the ability to speak out about the world? Why should anyone listen when I tell them about fitness, gaming, intellectual pursuits, the sociological ramifications of current world politics, and gummy worms?
Well that's something you're going to have to learn as you go. However if you want credentials, allow me to fill in a bit of my resume.
At 34 I have collected paychecks from over 30 different employers. I have built million dollar homes, I have driven a front end loader through mountains of trash, I've been to basic training and enjoyed some peace time national guard time, I've worked for restaurants, retail chains, and convenient stores and been a substitute teacher. However I have also spent over five years as a guard at a county jail AND 30 days as an inmate at a different county jail. (For CIVIL CONTEMPT-I couldn't afford to pay ALIMONY, and was subsequently put in jail, which caused me to lose my job with the Sheriff's Department)
My education involves an Associates degree, and 90 credits towards a BS in Mental Health and Human services, as well as a healthy interest in reference literature. School and I have never gotten along, I find it too rigid and constraining, I can learn more on my own.
The only things I know for sure...I've been pretty good at just about every job I've ever had. The closest to a job I actually liked was as a guard. I'm a people watcher and psychological dynamics fascinate me, plus I'm an adrenaline junkie and at the time thrived amidst the crazy fights, hangings, cut-ups etc etc. That being said I now have to pursue a different career, and this blog circle is part of it. It's a social and personal experiment. I know that everywhere I've gone, people tend to remember me. However despite being a quick learner, and intelligent and well-spoken, something seems to be holding me back. So I am now hoping to work from that into something here, maybe a job, maybe a career, maybe pocket money, time will tell.
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