So if every person is a combination of various parts both genetic and environmental. This combination of the fires you were given and the things you have learned are what guide every microscopic decision we make.
Now while I won’t delve into what I consider normal, what I will say is that sometimes either environmental or genetic or both factors cause a deviation from what would be considered normal. Essentially I’m referring to Abnormal Psychology. What I am proposing here is that every facet of every personality deserves equal study. Every nuance of a ‘healthy’ persons psyche is as important as why a depressed person loses motivation. I believe that an environmental predisposition is completely as likely to cause depression as a chemical imbalance. I to some extent believe that this extends to all mental health issues. While I understand the medical community’s need for diagnosis to even recognize a ‘disease’.
I don’t believe that any mental health issue is a ‘disease’ or an illness. Again my grey area would lapse for things like dementia, catatonia, or likely most schizophrenic cases. However, depression, alcoholism, PTSD, Bi-polar disorder, and other typically non long term hospitalization illnesses I don’t believe are diseases. I would argue that every person has a set of decisions that they make under certain circumstances. The motivations are different for every individual, while the outcomes may be similar, none are the same, and as such no two will ever react exactly the same when treated. Because of this I am not for most psycho pharmaceuticals. I realize their place in immediately or close to eliminating alarming symptoms, however they are weakening the taker’s ability to enhance themselves.
For instance picture a body builder that took steroids, but never worked out. This would represent someone just taking an anti-anxiety drug for nerves, or similar. When they get near something stressful they take a pill and ‘feel’ less stress it doesn’t mean the stress isn’t there it just numbs them to it. So our bodybuilder finally decides that he no longer wants to just feel stronger he wants to get stronger so he begins lifting weights while taking the steroids. This is like seeing a therapist while taking meds. You are improving your mental state; however the feedback you’re getting is modified from your own reactions because the meds are numbing you to some of that feeling. Next we move on to the bodybuilder who decides he’s strong and doesn’t need the steroids any more. Within a few weeks he finds his body not only can’t do as much but when he tries to engage it and make it stronger it isn’t ready because it’s looking for steroids that aren’t there. The person who after therapy and meds feels better and wants to get away from the meds, now feels that anxiety they were suppressing before, and when they try to deal with it their body chemically is looking for meds that aren’t there, increasing the initial anxiety.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am battling something in my psyche that is holding me back. I am not operating as efficiently as I should be upstairs. Not as efficiently as I have in the past. When I think back I can put together periods of time when I was operating better or worse and correspond those times with life influences. Where I find myself now is in a largely depressive state suffering from symptoms that have been dubbed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I understand both terms, have studied both extensively and wholly understand why the behaviors and motivations I feel fit into these two categories. That being said; I have no health insurance, and cannot afford any treatment or medication, and honestly am not comfortable taking meds anyway. So my only ‘treatment’ option is to go inside figure out what things are holding me back, where and why. Then I must find out what it will take to get myself to a point where those factors cannot or won’t affect me. Then I must cement that neural path with repetition and positive emotional feedback. From there I must optimize my existence with every option available to someone in my socio-economic status and available mental and physical abilities.
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